BIOGRAPHY OF A STRANGER
A FEW THOUGHTS ON GEORGE SODINI
By Gregory A. Butler
Based on reading George Sodini's essays (and extrapolating from my own upbringing and life experience - which was very similar to Sodini's) I draw the following tentative conclusions.
I suspect that Sodini was a sad, lonely and deeply disturbed man.
He was the victim of systematic emotional neglect by his father, systematic emotional abuse by his mother (abuse that apparently continued well into his adulthood) and systematic physical and emotional abuse from his older brother.
Much of his brother's abuse took the form of systematically sabotaging all of Sodini's attempts to date while he was in high school.
Sodini never sought psychotherapy or any other form of counseling as a teen or as an adult - so he, like many men in his situation, blamed all of his problems on his inability to form romantic relationships with women.
Basically, he came to believe his brother's narrative about him - that he was an unlovable loser who would never be found desirable by women.
He also came to feel that all he had to do to get his mother's long denied and desperately sought after love was to be successful in a relationship with a woman.
He also tended to let women stand in judgment over him - and to see those women as 50 foot tall monsters with the power to emotionally destroy him.
Basically, all of his terrified and abandoned "little boy feelings" came out when he dealt with women.
Big surprise, he was systematically unsuccessful with women - because what woman in her right mind would want to walk into that emotional minefield?
It also didn't help that Sodini turned to so called Pick Up Artists for aid.
Instead of guiding Sodini to the mental health care that he so desperately needed, they taught him various salesperson's tricks and head games that he, supposedly, could use to trick women into liking him and having sex with him.
They also reinforced Sodini's attempts to gain social status by dating so called "hot" women (that is, Maxim Magazine looking women half his age) - a delusion fostered by Sodini's desperate attempt to be liked and accepted by his male peers (and, ultimately, his brother who abused him and his father who abandoned him)
Needless to say, this fool's errand was hopeless and doomed to failure.
Sodini's rage and despair fed on themselves - a process accelerated by his social isolation - until he figured out that the only "solution" was to punish all women because of his personal inadequacies.
Needless to say, this was a horrifically and cosmically ****ed up choice for Sodini to make - it led to the murder of three innocent women who had never done anything personally wrong to Sodini, and to the grave wounding of 15 other innocents, who, also had never wronged Sodini and now will spend the rest of their lives with the permanent injuries created by the military quality automatic rifle ammunition Sodini unleashed on them.
No, I am not justifying anything Sodini did - he became a savage murderer in those last pathetic moments of his time on this planet, and in fact, I think it's regrettable that he was able to successfully kill himself, because he will never face the very long prison sentence that he so richly deserves for slaughtering and maiming those innocent women who just wanted to do a little exercise after work, and who did not deserve that fate.
But I do think there is a lot to learn from Sodini's case - and, hopefully, somebody somewhere (perhaps a doctor, or a teacher, or a supervisor or coworker) will catch the next George Sodini before he goes from lonely sufferer to brutal murderer.